Today's Yahoo News. I read this today and wondered if some writer behind a desk tring to collect a paycheck has really figured out why people cheat. Let's just read it

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

5. Nurturing If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

7. Confirmation tractiveness Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

8. The ThrillSome people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You MightRelationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

I STRUGGLE

JAMES 3
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

PLEASE STOP AND PRAY FOR CHAD & I

my daily verse

Ruth 3:1 (New International Version)

Ruth and Boaz at the Threshing Floor 1 One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for?

An Email From The Heart

Chad,

I believe that you are sorry when you are alone and so far away from home and all that is familiar. I am sure that you do miss the encouragement and what was apparantly an unending trend of forgiveness and self-denial on my part. The only encouragement I have to offer you now is that there is hope in the Lord to restore your life. Don't misunderstand me...I do not mean your life as my husband. I mean your life...and who God intended for you to be.
He will change the parts of you that submitted to the things that you are now sorry for if you will let Him take control of your life.

I can honestly tell you that I am of course saddened by the obvious losses in the wake of divorce and what that will mean to our children...the way it will change their lives. BUT- I also know because His Word says that I am not alone and I have felt His presence like never before since the truth was revealed to me that there are incredible things in store for me personally. And, Chad, I have peace. And you kow what? The Lord has called me to peace. Did you know that when I got saved I became the daughter of a King? My King, my Lord, my Savior does not want me to hurt and He wants the best for his daughter....more perfectly than any parent on Earth can comprehend. So that keeps me going. He is tending to my wounds and is making me stronger and building my character. I am liking myself more and more each day and I owe it all to Him. I guess, in a way- maybe I owe it to you...maybe I would not have leaned on Him and trusted Him the way I have had I not been so betrayed and left burdened by that betrayal. Please don't misunderstand me. I am not trying to beat you up...just sharing with you the testimony that God is developing in my life and I am actually excited to see how it unfolds. I know that His best is the best for me. That is exciting! And...in the long run...I will be better for these two little hearts that are looking to me to guide them and show them how to live and where to draw their strength from. If I don't teach them anything else...it is my heart's desire to impress upon them that Jesus is the well they should draw their strength from. I will lift you up in prayer as often as His Spirit prompts me and I sincerely want His best for you. The world and what it has to offer ultimately leads to destruction, Chad. The destruction path you have been on for years could rob you of your hope of a future full of blessings and Grace. And when one person tries to survive that in their own strength and continues to subject themselves to the strongholds that bind them (like alcoholism, drugs, sexual immorality, deceitfulness, greed...any of those kinds of things that become a lifestyle), they isolate themselves from God; that is a lonely and terrible place to be. I urge you to take your pain and sorrow to the Cross and lean on Him and you will begin your journey to healing. He will restore you and one day....you will wake up thankful that this happened. You will be a better you with character that you will want Bodhi to develop and will want Reagan to look for in a husband.

Please get in the Word and let Him help you to rebuild your life. He is great at what he does!

I am working through these changes and this transition emotionally and in my Spirit. I hope you will do the same. We are in the past, but we can both get better for our children and look to a better destiny led by the matchless Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ...the Most High God...The Rock!

The love of Christ,

Kelly

married 8 years

When we say, "I do" we all want to believe that it is forever. We all hope and pray that we will not become a statistic. We fall in love. We marry. We have passion. We have commitment. We have courage. And then life happens, and responsibilities grow. We have children. You start a business. You go to bed mad. You start waiting up late nights. You stop believing the stories. He starts cheating, then he says he's sorry but he'll never changes.



Im headed down a road that is filled with lawyers; money; kids; even fighting the thoughts of no happy ending with Chad. But Im not in control of anything am I. Its like this. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the day before. I have a greater God and now I have the chance to be happy. And I look to my God and know Im here and still breathing.

the Lords way

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

My battlefield

Marriage is made up of many things, including joy, sorrow, successes and failures. But when you think of a marriage the farthest thing from your head is a battlefield. However there are some battles you should be willing to fight and Im fighting the enemey, right now.

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up. When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

The Lords White Horse

Revelation 19:11
Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war